The Wall

You build a wall. It holds all the most deflective materials you know of. It’s your wall, one raised by the need for survival.

But time is cruel.

Time is revealing.

I've yet to think of it as healing.

Time ages that wall, that protective barrier that shields you from the other side. The side which holds all you wished to be locked up, forgotten.

Time slowly decays that wall, slowly only to fool you in thinking this wall will last, slowly because then you do not inspect so thoroughly how the cracks begin to appear, how it’s aged materials degrade and begin slowly crumbling.

But it’s a wall of survival and in survival we have instinct.

The growing sense of unease as you look to that wall briefly and begin to inspect, too late, closely the cracks that are forming, the bricks that are crumbling.

But it’s too late. Already the dark light of what’s buried behind that wall seeps through.

Already the charged thoughts poke at you and inevitably provoke forth that which you had so desperately sealed.

It’s too late to stop the resuscitation of thoughts hoped lost and long forgotten behind a wall thought eternal.

Each electric thought, buzzing with unreal clarity, strikes you and reminds you, it is here. It is free.

It’s too late to stop the process of reliving that thought gone and absorbed into imagination, left to only be but brief nightmares faded to memory.

But again, time is cruel. Time is harsh. Time knows no lie.

The stability of what the wall gave, though illusionary, now crumbles with the bricks and materials embedded in that wall.

Memory invades, reality fights to be heard and time, time has given the stage, the tactics, for what was once buried behind a wall.

What’s left is the instability of trying to regain the balance of that illusionary peace, the safety of that wall.

But instability is dangerous. It brings with it painful clarity that which has been thought locked in darkness. It brings forth memory and what was once thought nightmares and blends them, presenting them on the stage presented and built by time.

How clearly these things return and rock the stability which was in effect the illusion held with such desperate need to avoid the truth that time now calls to court.

How safe we fooled ourselves to be with our wall, decaying without notice.

How we have underestimated the power of time and it’s friendship to truth.